Tales of a Bar Tender
Inspired by a simple question "have you finished your book yet?" which was asked after a bar patron looked out upon the rest of the bar and witnessed: crass behaviour, crazy dancing, weird interactions with the opposite sex, the downright creepy, etc. It was a good question; why not document it?
Each week (or each fortnight (or each month (or whenever))) we plan to bring you a new tale that brings to life these strange creatures through the medium of humourous description and poetry, colourful illustrations and
Text inspired by the frank and sometimes harsh poetry of John Cooper Clarke and Hovis Presely, and more importantly living in Glasgow. Illustrations inspired by whatever inspires a young graphic designer!
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Damien was born at an unspecified time on Baekdu Mountain which was foretold by a swallow, and heralded by the appearance of a double rainbow across the sky over the mountain and a new star in the heavens.
Unfortunately a retarded child was also born that day on the same site and was heralded as the future Dear Leader.
Damien then adventured North to Scotland (just off the coast of England) and studied Mathematics at St Andrews University. After a short spell teaching the wondrous subject he came to the realisation that he hated children and left the profession.
He now spends his time writing about technology and detailing the ‘colourful’ people you meet in bar tending. He hopes that one day he will return to lead his people as the true Dear Leader to which he’ll probably give up doing a year later…
They create the stories and images behind Scotland’s 37th most popular blog regarding the weird and wonderful characters you may bump into whilst drinking or even working in bars and pubs around the world!
Adam is a graphic design student and creator of the rather unique illustrations here at Tales of a Bar Tender. He is rather mad about illustrating, and has an impressive array of various freelance experience including t-shirt design and print, advertising and brochure layout, logo-design and web graphics.
If you ever need something designed, or alternatively just need to evoke your overwhelming love for his hideous drawings, feel free to drop him an email found at the bottom of this site.
Every few weeks I get a new and exciting letter from TV Licencing, each one more threatening than the last… then they reset every 3 letters. Continue reading
The mojito: invented in the 19th century to annoy bar tenders. In a good cocktail bar they’re great, however in a volume bar it’s not a great idea to have them on the menu; they take far too long to make.
If you have these on your menu please charge a fortune for them, they should be a rare treat. Too many times have I gone to a bar and had a crap mojito, and to be fair I can’t blame the bar tender for not putting their full effort into it as they are such an arse-ache. Continue reading